


without you, i feel broke, like i'm half of a whole

by changingstyIes



Category: 5SOS
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mute - Freeform, Soulmates, blind, blind!ashton, mute!luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 18:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2477966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changingstyIes/pseuds/changingstyIes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>luke was a mute boy with no friends and a deep hatred in this stupid soulmate thing. Or, at least he was like that until he met his soulmate, who was blinder than a bat in daylight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	without you, i feel broke, like i'm half of a whole

without you, i feel broke, like i'm half of a whole.

 

It was sunny outside. Birds were chirping and leaves were rustling in the wind. Luke admired all of it's beauty because he knew that it wouldn't last long in Seattle. It was always raining here and, as much as Luke loved rain, it got dull and boring after a while. But now, with the birds singing and wind blowing and the sun shining, everything was perfect. Well. In Luke's eyes they were.

Luke lived alone in this noisy city. He didn't have time for friends. In fact, he didn't even try to make friends. Luke stopped talking in middle school. Words were useless anyways. So, why use them, when all they do is hurt people?

Luke walked the streets with his thumbs in the belt loops of his pants. His headphones were deeply planted inside of his ears and the music was so loud that it almost drown out the useless noise of the city. He looked around as he walked, but grimaced when his eyes landed on another couple with their tongues down each other's throats. How gross, Luke thought.

Luke hated that couples and all other couples for one reason; this stupid soulmate thing. It is said that in Greek Mythology, humans were originally born with four arms, four legs and a single head with two individual faces. Zeus split them in half because he feared their power. And now humans are forced to walk the earth, searching for their other half. But, at birth, each human is born with a single swirl on their wrists. The person with the same swirl is your other half. Couples were made on those things.

Bullshit, Luke thought. It was all bullshit.

Luke cared for none of it. He didn't even fucking talk, so why the hell should he care about some stupid soulmate? And anyways, if he was to find his soulmate, he was willing to bet that they'd judge him for being mute. So, he didn't try. He'd rather live his life in solitude anyways.

Luke kept his head down as he entered the quiet coffee shop. The lady who worked here is a family friend of Luke's. She knew what he wanted, so she immediately started to brew it for him. Connie, grabbed a chocolate chip muffin from the stand and placed it on a plate by Luke's coffee. He took it and set the money down on counter, nodded his head and went to take a seat by the window.

He was still mesmerized by the beauty this world could create sometimes. The sun was still shining and it put a twinge of happiness in Luke's horrid mood. Seattle may not be the best city, but Luke moved here for a reason. A reason he wasn't quite certain of yet. Maybe it was the noise, but Luke hated the noise. Or maybe it was the rain, but, Luke thought, rain gets so boring sometimes.

Luke drank his coffee slowly, preferring the taste over tea any day. He watched the cars as they zoomed by. He watched old people sit alone and he felt a pang of sympathy. He watched people walk down the street, hand in hand. He watched and took in everything he could because one day the world might not be as beautiful as it is now.

_________________________

 

Luke reached home a couple of hours later. The sun had disappeared as it started to rain again. It put a bit of a damper on his mood. The rain always does that to him.

When it rains, Luke has sort of a tradition. He shuts the curtains, plays loud music to block out the noise of the rain hitting the windows and roof and he lays on his couch and mumbles lyrics and drinks coffee. But, that's how Luke works. It's the only thing that makes the rain only slightly less depressing.

Luke sat, with his coffee pressed up against his side. He laid long-ways on the couch. 'Sad Song' by We the Kings was playing and Luke was mumbling the lyrics. Nobody had ever heard Luke sing and he found it refreshing the no one knew his secret. He may be mute, but that doesn't mean that singing, alone, is out of the question.

He was lifting the warm cup up to his mouth every other minute because the taste of the coffee was addicting and it kept him sane.

_________________________

 

It was midnight when he finally decided to go to sleep. But the music played on. Luke didn't have the heart to turn it off. The melody was something familiar and calming to Luke in this shity world. Music had always been the same thing to him. Ever since he was ten, music was his everything and nothing could really change that.

Luke laid in bed. His mind was wondering and he couldn't stop it. Sleep had become something sort of impossible at the moment. His eyes just wouldn't close, his mind wouldn't stop thinking and his ears just wouldn't stop hearing sounds. Of course, the music probably wasn't helping because he was still mumbling the lyrics. But Luke still refused to turn it off. It masked the sound of the rain.

He twiddled his fingers. His bed was becoming uncomfortable and his blanket was too hot. This day was turning into one of struggles. He just wanted to sleep. He's never really wanted something more.

It was three AM when he was able to fall asleep, his mind drifting off with the soft sounds of 'How Long Will I Love You' by Ellie Goulding.

_________________________

 

When Luke woke up the next morning, it was raining. He rolled his eyes because, of course it would. I mean, he was in fucking Seattle for crying out loud.

He stumbled out of bed and looked at the clock; 6 AM, it read. Luke sighed, he hadn't gotten a blink of sleep last night. But he was used to it.

Luke walked to the windows and gripped the curtains and harshly yanked them together. He rubbed his forehead and went to get dressed.

He walked into the bathroom and ran the shower water, until it was just the right amount of cold and hot. Luke stripped himself of his pajamas and stepped him. The warm water ran down his body and took his worries with it. It was soothing. The water relaxed his muscles and took away everything that had been on his mind. It was a relief.

But the relief was short lived once Luke got out of the shower. His worries and thoughts came back at full force.

As he dried himself off, he looked at his wrist. The swirl was still there. Still marking Luke's fate, but he wouldn't have any of it. It was not the kind of life he wanted. But it was still there and every time Luke showered, he wished it gone.

_________________________

 

A pair of fresh pants later and a clean tee shirt, Luke was heading out of his apartment. His shoes were slapping against the pavement as Luke listened to his music. It was louder than yesterday because the sounds of today were louder than yesterdays. And why should Luke have to listen to that?

This time he entered a quiet bookstore and he was almost 100% positive that he was disturbing the peace. He looked around a minute and walked down a random isle. He fingers scanned over the book's spines. But as Luke reached another aisle, he ran into a small boy carrying about five books.

He dropped the books and landed on top of Luke. The air in both of their lungs was sucked out and thrown away. Luke hit his head on the carpeted floor and the boy's head hit Luke's chest.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" A quirky, squeaky voice, exclaimed.

Luke didn't know what to say. Luke didn't even want to say anything.

"Hello? Dude? Did I knock you unconscious? Oh shit, wait, you can't answer that if you're unconscious, can you? Wait, you can't answer that either!" The boy had started panicking, so Luke put a hand on his shoulder to let him know that he was still alive and wake.

The boy breathed out a breath of relief, "Thank God! I thought I killed you!"

The boy began feeling around Luke's body to find his face. It made him wonder what the stranger was doing. But then Luke noticed the sunglasses on the boy's face and the stick next to his feet. This boy was blind and that probably didn't help him know that Luke was feeling a bit to hot and uncomfortable with stranger sprawled out across his body, touching his face.

The boy's hand reached above Luke's forehead and to his hair and that's when Luke saw it. It was a single swirl. And it was the exact same as Luke's. And, shit, he was freaking out, but not because he was a boy, but because he was blind and couldn't see that Luke had the same exact marking on his wrist. And because he fucking met his soulmate and he didn't even want one!

"You don't talk much, do you?" The stranger asked, curiously.

Luke shook his head and the boy understood that he meant no.

The boy suddenly started to blush, "I'm still on top of you, aren't I?"

Luke nodded, yes.

The boy quickly sat up, "M'sorry! I didn't know that I was still- oh god- do you hate me know?! I bet you do!" The boy rambled. Luke still didn't know his name.

Luke placed a hand over the boy's mouth, quickly making him shut up, because, Jesus, this boy talked to much.

The boy breathed out against Luke's hand, causing him to pull it away because, gross, stranger germs.

Luke helped the boy stand up and he handed him his walking stick and the books he was holding.

But before Luke could leave, the boy said something more, "Thank you for helping me! I owe you one, man!" He shouted.

And before Luke left the bookstore, he heard a shouted, "My name's Ashton, by the way!"

_________________________

 

When he got home, Luke had no idea what to think. His mind was running wild with words he wanted to say to the boy. His heart was racing and his breath was uneven. And it wasn't because he ran home, wanting to get away from Ashton. It was because of the feelings Ashton gave him. And Luke did not like that, not one bit. Because Luke didn't want a soulmate, but now he wanted Ashton.

Luke didn't know if he should tell the boy or leave it alone. But these feelings were swallowing Luke whole and they kept on swallowing him when he went to sleep and when he woke up the next morning.

And Luke didn't know what to think.

_________________________

 

It was three weeks before Luke ran into Ashton again. But, this time it was different than the bookstore incidence. This time Ashton was the one to run into Luke and, in the process, spill his hot coffee all over Luke's shirt. And, of course, Luke was pissed because it was his favorite All Time Low shirt.

And, again, Ashton exclaimed, "Oh my gosh! I'm sorry! I swear that was not meant to happen!"

Luke shook his head because, damn, this boy was kind of cute at the moment. And, no, Luke shouldn't think that because he didn't want a soulmate. And it was kind of a relief that Ashton didn't know who he was.

But, when Ashton felt around Luke again, he knew he was in trouble. Because then Ashton said, "Are you, maybe, possibly the boy I ran into at the bookstore, like, three weeks ago?"

Luke's eyes widened because, how in the fuck did he remember that sort of shit? This boy had insane memory and it was scary.

"Oh my gosh! You are! Because he didn't talk and you don't talk!" Ashton was practically buzzing with happiness, "I'm so glad we met again because, creepy stranger, I don't even know your name," he said, happiness lacing his every word.

And once again Luke found that insanely adorable. And he tried to push those thoughts away because he didn't want a soulmate. But, Ashton made that so hard for him. He was being too cute and too adorable. It was hurting Luke's heart because he wanted the boy and maybe that was the soulmate thing, but, at the moment, that didn't matter. Because Luke wanted to get to know this boy, badly.

"Can you tell me your name? Because I'd really like to know!" Ashton smiled. And fuck, Luke's jaw hit the floor. The stars and the sun were nothing compared to Ashton's smile. It lit up the whole room and it made Luke want to kiss the shit out of him. But, he knew he couldn't do that.

Ashton touched Luke's face again and said, "Are you mute?"

Ashton finally got it. And when Luke nodded into Ashton's hands, he got it even more. And he understood.

Luke was sweating, awaiting the judgment. But Ashton just smiled his cute, dimpled smile and said to Luke, "That's okay. I mean I wish you would talk, so I could hear your voice. But I also wish I could see to see what you look like."

And that little statement made Luke's heart jump into his throat. This boy was perfect and now, Luke was was thinking that maybe he wanted a soulmate because this boy was his soulmate. And he wanted to be able to kiss him and touch him because he wanted to. Because he could.

Ashton suddenly reached into his pocket and set something on a random coffee table. Luke had to hold in a smile because there were people sitting there, but Ashton didn't know that and even if he did, Luke was certain that he wouldn't care.

Ashton wrote something in braille and handed it to Luke, "That's a time and a place and I'd really like it if you met me there, stranger." Could this boy get any cuter?

Luke sighed in acknowledgment and Ashton got the message.

_________________________

 

Luke returned home before it started pouring outside. He hung his coat up and pulled off his soaked converse. He turned on his music, made his coffee, shut the curtains and laid on the couch. But this time it was different. This time Luke sang a little louder and was a little happier.

His mind soon wandered to Ashton. And he thought of his smile, his voice, his hair, just, really, his everything. And, of course, he was going to meet him tomorrow. And of course he wanted to meet him. And, maybe, just maybe, he wanted to make an effort for this quirky boy he had only met three weeks ago.

And, of course, he was smitten. But, this time he was sort of okay with it. Because he was smitten over Ashton. He never wanted to feel the same about another person ever again because all he wanted was Ashton.

_________________________

 

When Luke awoke that morning, his thoughts were still filled of Ashton and the date. Or meeting. Or hang out. Or whatever. Yeah, Luke'll just call it a whatever. Even though it wasn't. Even though Luke knew that.

He quickly walked to the bathroom and took the shortest shower he had ever taken. Because, ohmygod, he was flipping shit.

He scrambled to throw on a pair of clothes, after deciding that they were good enough. And then he messily styled his hair, but redid it because he wanted to look perfect for Ashton. Even though this was a whatever (even though it wasn't. At least not to Luke).

His converse were throw on, carelessly and his headphones were quickly shoved into his ears. His apartment door was loudly slammed. And, Luke didn't give a single fuck because he was meeting with Ashton.

This was the first time in years that Luke wore a smile when he was walking out of his house and down to the bookstore, where he had first met the boy.

The streets were busy and the noise was loud, but Luke still didn't care. Because, once again, he was meeting with Ashton. And, at the moment, that was the only thing Luke really cared about. He didn't even care that it was raining outside and that he was getting soaked because his mind was still stuck on Ashton.

_________________________

 

When Luke finally got to the bookstore, after what felt like years (it was only, about, twenty minutes), he looked around for Ashton. He was a little disappointed when he didn't see him. So, to pass the time that he waited for Ashton to get here, he ordered a small coffee and a chocolate muffin from the shop in the store. He sat at a lone table and quietly drank his coffee and ate his muffin.

He looked around and studied some of the people. There was one lone couple that caught his eyes. There were two girls sitting at a table, fingers intertwined tightly on top of the table. They were feeding each other little pieces of a danish. They were cute and they looked like they belonged together. And, it occurred to Luke that he and Ashton could have that. They could hold hands, kiss each other, laugh together and feed each other.

Luke was pulled from his thoughts when he heard the bell above the door ring. His head snapped up and over to the door that he was sure he just gave himself whiplash. But that didn't matter when he saw Ashton walk through the door with a confidence smile on his face. And, God, Luke thought, he wanted this boy. He doesn't think he's ever seen anybody more beautiful than Ashton.

He quickly got up and speed-walked to over where Ashton was and tapped him on the shoulder. His smile brighten and his hands reached up to cup Luke's face, dropped his walking tool in the process.

"My Stranger? Is that you?" He asked.

Luke's smile widened as he nodded and Ashton smiled, "You actually came!"

And Luke thought, Well, why wouldn't I come? You're the only person I would ever do anything for!

He wanted to talk, but instead he brought Ashton over to his table and sat him down. Ashton smiled and felt around the table a bit, until he reached Luke's muffin and coffee.

"D'you mind if I have some?" Ashton asked, timidly.

Luke smiled and grabbed Ashton's hand. He placed it on his cheek and nodded yes. Ashton smiled up at him and quickly found the muffin. He took a huge chunk out of it and shoved it all into his mouth. And, he'll be damned if Luke didn't think that it was the cutest thing he had ever seen. But, then, Luke thought that it was creepy to stare at Ashton when he was eating, even if he couldn't see him.

"So, my stranger boy, how have your days been?" Ashton asked, his mouth full of muffin.

And then Luke decided to do this really miraculous thing. He spoke to Ashton because in this case, in Ashton's case, words were necessary, "Fine," he spoke, his own voice surprising him.

It must've surprised Ashton too because his mouth dropped a little, "You can talk?" He asked.

Luke smiled at Ashton even though he couldn't see it, "Only for you."

Ashton's whole face broke out in a grin that took up most of his cheeks. His dimples popped and Luke was glad that he decided to talk to him. In fact, he thought it was the best decision he had ever made.

"Your voice is so cute! Like, it's the best thing I've ever heard! And plus you don't sound like a creeper, so I think I'm good," Ashton exclaimed.

If Luke's heart could grow legs and lurch out of his body, then it already has because, fuck, he was making Luke feel these things in his stomach and he liked it. Holy fuck did he like it.

Ashton was still smiling when he asked Luke, "So, what's your name and age? Just so I know that you're not a creeper because I can't really use a computer."

Luke smiled, "My name's Luke and I'm eighteen," he said to Ashton.

Ashton clapped his hands, "Great! You're only two years younger than me and you're Australian too! Could you be any cooler?" He asked the boy.

Luke blushed and said back to Ashton, "So, you're twenty?"

Ashton smiled and thumbs upped Luke and said back "You got it, Lukey."

Luke's heart tightened because he never wanted to hear his name come from anyone else's mouth. He just wanted Ashton say it and think it because when he thought that Ashton was think about him it made Luke feel happy, happier than he had ever felt.

_________________________

 

It was two hours later when Ashton said he had to go. He left Luke with a chaste goodbye and walked right out the door. Ashton had given him his home address and Luke had written it down. That had taken a lot of convincing on Luke's part because Ashton has still thought that Luke was a creeper. And, that made Luke laugh. But, in the end, he got it. And, he was happy that he had gotten it.

Luke walked home in the rain and the funny thing was, he didn't care. He didn't care that his clothes were starting to stick to his body and he didn't care that the noise was making his head hurt because he had Ashton on his mind. And, Ashton made the rainy days better and the noise a little lower.

Luke was too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice that he was home. And, when he walked up to his apartment doors, he hit the door, face first. Holy fuck, did that hurt, but again, Luke didn't care because the mere thought of Ashton was making the pain lift slightly.

He walked into his apartment and threw his coat off and his shoes somewhere. Luke was sure that he needed to tell Ashton that they were soulmates, but he was afraid that the boy would freak out and be mad at him for not telling him.

Luke went to his kitchen to make coffee, but this time, he kept the curtains opened and turned on the TV instead. And it was all because of Ashton.

_________________________

 

They kept meeting every week, until the meetings stopped because of something that had happened between the two.

It was a Monday afternoon and Ashton waltzed into the bookstore without a care in the world. He found Luke and sat down by him. And, the two continued their conversation. It was going to great, until Ashton asked the one question that made Luke's heart falter and not in a good way. 

"So, have you found your soulmate?"

Luke's heart stopped and he paled slightly. He was thankful that Ashton couldn't see that because then he would've known something was up with Luke. He didn't know what to say, though. Because he was certain that if he told Ashton that he knew that they were soulmates, he would get angry at Luke for not telling him sooner. And, the meetings (dates) might stop and Luke definitely did not want that.

Ashton noticed that Luke didn't answer the question and asked it again, "Have you found your soulmate?"

Luke shook his head, he did not want to answer this question. But he did anyways because he had to tell Ashton somehow, "Kinda."

Ashton looked puzzled, "What do you mean 'kinda'?" He asked, putting quotations around kinda.

Luke paled more, "They don't know," he replied.

"Like, you know but they don't?" Ashton asked.

Luke nodded, "Yeah."

Ashton nodded and asked the one question that Luke had been avoiding, "Can I feel your mark?" 

Luke paled even more. Some might say that he looked like a sheet of paper, but he handed Ashton his arm anyways. He place his hand on top of Ashton's a guided it to his mark. The boy traced over it and froze. Shit, Luke thought, I made a mistake.

He knew that he had royally fucked up when Ashton asked, "Luke, why is your mark the same as mine?" His voice was shaky.

Luke tried to take his arm away, but Ashton kept a hold of it.

"Luke, please tell me that I'm not your soulmate," his voice changed to quivering.

"I'm sorry, Ash," Luke apologized quietly.

Ashton's face transformed into one of angry, "You knew?" He started out quietly, but then it turned to yelling, "You knew that I was your soulmate and you didn't tell me?! Why the fuck didn't you tell me?!" Ashton was mad, but he was also on the verge of tears.

"Listen Ash-"

But Ashton cut him off, "No! No, you do not get to make up excuses! Do you not like me? Is it because I'm blind?" Ashton's voice got lower at each question.

Luke's heart broke because Ashton thought that Luke didn't like him like that, "No Ash. I like you the way you are," he replied, quietly.

Ashton's voice shook as he ripped his hand away from Luke's arm, "Then why didn't you tell me?" Ashton asked quietly.

Luke didn't know what to say because he knew that he had already lost Ashton. There was nothing he could say that would convince him that Luke didn't mean to not tell him.

Ashton stood up suddenly, "Don't talk to me ever again, Luke," he spat, quietly. And, Luke's heart broke a little because he had called him Luke.

Luke tried to reach out to Ashton, but he was already too far away. And, Luke's heart broke even more when Ashton wiped tears from his cheeks and walked out the door and into the rain.

Luke had totally and incredibly fucked up.

_________________________

 

Luke was sad. No, sad wasn't the right word. Luke felt like his heart had been torn out of his body and thrown on the sidewalk and stomped on. Ashton hated him and that hurt Luke. The more he thought about it, the more he felt the stomping on his heart. And it wouldn't stop.

So, Luke sat, he sat with a bottle of vodka in one hand and his head in the other one. He took casual sips because he was three-quarters done with the bottle and he still felt like shit. Luke felt like throwing something and breaking things because, maybe that would help with the pain. But, Luke knew that the only thing that would take this pain away is to sit with Ashton and cuddle him and kiss him.

And, thinking about that made Luke feel the stomping again. So, he threw the bottle against the wall and broke down in tears. He grabbed a lamp and threw it against the wall, the pieces clattering on the floor with the liquor bottle pieces. And, he kept throwing things, until he realized what he was doing.

Luke collapsed on the floor, his cheeks streaked with tears and curled his arms around his knees. He rocked himself back and forth as he cried into his knees. He just wanted Ashton. He just really wanted Ashton.

_________________________

 

Luke was a mess the next morning. He woke up with a pounding headache and to a sight of glass and liquid all over the floor. He reeked of cheap vodka. Luke rubbed his eyes and stood up. The sunlight made Luke's headache worse, so he quickly walked over to the curtains and shoved them shut. Luke, then went to clean up the mess he had made.

He threw all the glass pieces in a plastic bag and mopped up the liquor. He threw the bag in the trash and went to the bathroom.

Luke looked in the mirror and was taken aback by his appearance. Underneath his eyes were purplish bags, his eyes were puffy from crying every night he's spent without seeing Ashton, his cheeks were stained with tears and his whole face was red and blotchy. He looked broken and he was. Because, when Ashton left the bookstore he had taken Luke's shity heart with him.

He quickly wiped his eyes and cheeks, trying to rid himself of the thoughts of Ashton. He was dumb, he just should've told Ashton when he first met him. And who knows how it would've turned out. But, Luke knew that it would've been better than the mess he was in right now.

_________________________

 

After Luke had taken a shower and changed into something that didn't smell like cheap liquor, he went to bed. He just, sort of, laid there. He felt numb and it felt good. He couldn't feel the hurt that Ashton had caused him. But then his mind wandered back to Ashton and then Luke was crying again and was begging for a big bottle of vodka.

He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. He wanted to stop crying, but with Ashton on his mind, he knew that that would be impossible. Because, Ashton was everything good in Luke's life, but that was ripped away from him and now he felt like shit. He should've just stayed away in the first place. Maybe that would've saved some pain.

Luke fell asleep that night with ashtonashtonashton in his mind and tears running down his cheeks.

_________________________

 

The next few weeks for Luke were shit. And he didn't do much of anything. He didn't eat more than three things a day and he hardly got out of bed. He felt no motivation to do anything. He was just too depressed.

How could someone go from really, insanely happy to numb and pained? Luke needed and answer because he was feeling all of these things and he just didn't know how to cope with them all.

That night when Luke decided to go to bed, he also decided that he was tired of feeling like utter shit. So, you know what Luke did? He shoved on his jacket and old, ripped converse and marched out of that apartment at 12 AM at night. He walked down the sidewalk, looking over his shoulder every other minute because he did not want to die.

He sniffled in the cold and wiped at his eyes. He was so sick of crying over this. And he was about to put an end to it because Luke was walking to Ashton's house. And, he didn't care that it was fuck 50 below outside and that it was really fucking creepy out here at night because he was gonna get Ashton back.

He soon found himself at Ashton's apartment door. He was scared to knock, but on the other hand he was sick of feelings terrible all the time. So, he knocked and then he regretted it because he heard shuffling through the door. But he couldn't run away because Ashton had opened the door.

"Who is it?" He asked, his voice was croaky.

Luke cleared his throat, "It's, uh, I- um, it's Luke," he stuttered out.

Ashton paled and went to shut the door, but Luke's foot caught in the door. He was not losing this chance.

"Please go home, Luke," Ashton pleaded, quietly.

"No," he said firmly, "I'm going to explain myself to you." And, holy shit, he was doing this.

Ashton shook his head, "Go, Luke. I don't want you here," he said.

But, Luke wasn't moving, "No."

"Go."

"No. Just please listen to me, Ash," Luke pleaded.

Ashton looked like he was about to shake his head, but then he blurted out a weak 'Okay'. And, Luke took that opportunity to push through the door and grabbed Ashton's arm. He dragged him over to the sofa and sat him down by him. Luke kept his grip on Ashton's arm, but Ashton made no move to rip it away from Luke, so he kept his hand there.

Luke cleared his throat and started, "I've always hated the idea of soulmates because why should some stupid mark choose who you get to fall in love with? My mom always said that I was just overthinking it and that I should just let it go. But, I never could because it made no sense to me.

"I turned myself into a mute because words were dumb and whenever I heard them there were mean or plain 'I love you's' and I sick of people asking me why I acted the way I do towards this thing. I just, sorta shut everyone out because I felt like I didn't need anyone. They all had someone and I had no one. I felt lonely so I made myself lonely. I just stopped with my emotions because I was not going to let myself get hurt over the fact that everyone around me found their somebody and I was still a nobody."

Luke turned to Ashton and gripped his cheek in one hand. He turned his head so that his face was facing him. And, then he continued, "But then I met you. And you were beautiful. I don't care that you're blind and I don't care. I don't care that you can't see me because you're still Ashton. And, you're beautiful to me, the way you are. I love your smile because it makes me happy and it lights up every room you walk into. And, I love your hair because it's so messy and cute. And, I love your eyes because they're this mixture of a clouded over hazel and green. And, I love your dimples because they're fucking dimples."

He stupid to see that Ashton was crying a little bit, but that was fine because so was Luke, "And, I love you, Ashton. I was completely broken when we stopped talking and I've never felt that much pain in my life. And it sucks that I made you cry and that I hurt you. It's my fault that all this happened. But you know what?" Luke smiled at Ashton, "I wouldn't take it back for the fucking world. Because I met you."

And, know Ashton was sobbing a little bit, but Luke's hands stayed on his face, " You are the most inspiring person I have ever met and I love you. You're kind, beautiful, sweet, sexy," They both softly laughed when he said that, "Courageous, caring, chirpy and lovely person I have ever met. And, you Ashton Irwin, are the only person I ever want to kiss, go to sleep with at night, wake up to in the morning and love. I don't want anyone else because I have you and I just want you."

Ashton felt his way up to Luke's face and gripped it, "You're too sweet, Lucas. And I don't want anyone else either. Because you have my heart and I don't ever want it back."

Luke pulled Ashton's face closer to him, "I love you, Ash," he said, quietly, his breath hitting Ashton's lips.

Ashton smiled, "I love you, Lucas Hemmings."

Luke grimaced at the name but pulled Ashton closer to him anyways. Their breath was mixing together. Their lips slightly brushed, but before Luke connected their lips, he pulled back slightly.

Ashton's face filled itself with fear, "What are you doing? Did I do something wrong?" He asked, fearfully.

Luke shook his head and pulled off Ashton's glasses, "There," he said, looking into Ashton's pale eyes, "Beautiful."

Ashton blushed but pulled Luke back into him. He fell back on the couch because he may have pulled a little too hard. Their breaths mixed and their eyes widened. But, that didn't stop Ashton from brushing his fingers over Luke's lips. Luke did the same. He wanted to make sure that that this was actually happening. But it was and when Ashton leaned up slightly, it made Luke's heart falter, but this time, in a good way. Ashton softly pressed his lips to Luke's. For a minute, neither moved, but then, Luke worked up the courage to softly move his lips against Ashton's. Their eyes had shut long ago, before they had started this.

Ashton leaned up, his arms wrapping, tightly around Luke neck. Luke's arms moved behind Ashton, pulling the older boy into his body. They gripped each other, tightly as their lips moved, feverishly together. Luke sat up a bit and took Ashton with him. He was now straddling Luke's lap. They were still kissing when Luke stood up.

They broke apart as Luke laid Ashton down on the bed. Luke pulled himself from Ashton's warm arms and said, "I'll be back in a minute, baby."

Ashton blushed at the pet name, but nodded and said in return, "Okay, don't be long."

Luke laughed, slightly and kissed Ashton one more time before he was pulling away and saying, "Don't miss me too much."

Luke headed to the bathroom and stripped himself of his sweatshirt. He was left in plaid pajama bottoms and hamburger boxers. He went to the toilet and washed his hands. He popped a mint in his mouth because he didn't have a toothbrush here.

He walked towards the front door and set his shoes there with his socks tugged tightly in them.

He returned to the bedroom to find Ashton curled up in the blanket with nothing but boxers on. Luke smiled, fondly and climbed in bed with him. Ashton felt his presence and tightly wrapped his arms around Luke's body. Luke laughed, softly and wrapped his arms around Ashton's midsection. Ashton leaned up slightly and Luke gave him a chaste kiss on the mouth because after that, Ashton was nuzzling his face into Luke's neck and kissing the skin there.

"I love you, Lukey," Ashton breathed out, tiredly.

"I love you more, Ash," Luke said in the boy's ear.

The two fell asleep in tangled limbs and lingering 'I love you's' in the air. And, Luke thought that maybe words weren't useless and that this soulmate thing wasn't that bad after all. Because, now he had Ashton and he never wanted anyone else. Ashton was it for Luke. And, Luke was it for Ashton.

**Author's Note:**

> //
> 
> so i decided to post soulmate fluff. hope you enjoy!
> 
> btw it's 1:30 AM and I've been writing this for five fucking hours, so please like it.
> 
> goodnight
> 
> kenzee xx


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